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Is it ever too late to undo emotional fall-out from a nasty split?Get outside help for yourself, get therapy if necessary, and maintain those boundaries. And it might be difficult, but never criticize your ex -- it's a criticism of your child, who, of course, is 50% of your ex-husband or wife. Say, 'It sounds like you are feeling sad/mad/upset about meeting your dad's new girlfriend, is that right? On the other hand, grilling the child puts him squarely in the middle, which is an impossible position emotionally.Making your child your cohort is wrong and does them damage." "Kids need to feel as if they are understood," Neuman says, and after a divorce their feelings may be in turmoil. So ask your kid fun and general questions, which diffuses tension.It also provides a recorded message, admissible into court, so parents tend to be more careful when using it.
"If you want or need to speak with your ex over the phone or in person, be focused and stay on task, and most important, don't swallow the bait if he or she descends into anger.
It can be extremely difficult to get past the painful history you may have with your ex and overcome built-up resentments.