Dating very intelligent men


My friend Millie Brown, a performance artist widely known as the “vomit artist,” has a lot of experience with dating freakishly attractive men.Millie and I lived together during our early and mid-twenties, and at the time, it felt like every other week she had a new model boyfriend.The attraction felt almost indefinable, relying on everything from their looks and style to their mind and profession, to the smell of their skin and the sound of their voice.



I told him that, at 31, the realization was probably a bit overdue, but I knew what he meant: As one gets older, it becomes harder and harder to be attracted to someone simply because of the way they look.Is it because, with age, we care more about a relationship’s potential longevity, rather than just instant sexual gratification?Or perhaps we become more acutely aware of the impermanence of beauty after experiencing our own signs of aging?But, as un-shallow as I have congratulated myself for being on many occasions, I will admit that there have been times when someone’s looks overwhelmed any need for a deeper compatibility.

Case in point: A couple years ago, I dated a writer whose work I really admired—he was kind and intelligent, we got along wonderfully, and the sex was good, too.

“It wasn’t that I was specifically attracted to ,” Millie clarified recently.