What to say on a first message online dating


This past week alone I’ve gotten enough poorly executed messages to make me want to curl up in a ball of being-alone-forever.I try not to lose hope that there can be some genuine connections made through meeting someone off of the internet. I have even made several lasting friends from some of my experiences.



The key is really just to have something other than everybody else’s Hi, Hey, Hello without shooting too far and hitting her with Hot Tits or something equally stupid. Do not use compliments that are body related in any sense. That is EXACTLY the metaphor I use for private clients in describing the “tone” you want to capture in your initial contact.You’d never hit on a guy at a bar by walking up to him and telling him that he’s cute, he seems nice, and that you’d like to buy him a drink.Even if a guy reads your entire profile and respond to one specific line, do you really get excited by a man who says, “I notice you like skiing. Then why would you write an email like that to a man?

I’m really grateful, Jane, that you made that connection between a first email and a come-hither look at a bar.

After all, you wouldn’t show up to a first date in your pajamas, so try not to look like you’re asleep in your first message. Using the example of Bon Jovi from earlier the title could be anything like “Bon Jovi” or “80s Rock” or “Similar Music Tastes” or even something unrelated to your message but from her profile.